Just love is not enough

Aira    Featured Post     happy couples, happy married life, Life, Love, love in marriage, married couples, responsibility in marriage, Romatic married life, secrets of happy married life, wisdom and maturity

I have been married for many years now and many of couples approached me asking for what is the real essence and secret of happy married life. And I would only say – not just one thing to work properly in marriage but there are something very essential and necessary ingredients to have a happy married life.

What if you think true love is all it takes to make a marriage successful? No matter what you say, how hard you love or how long you have tried. Sometimes is it just not enough. No, just love is not enough!

Today, I just wanna reveal that for you all whoever wants to know the secret to be happy and happy in married life. Far from it, the main things in a happy marriage is trust, understanding and respect come first. Love ranks way down the pecking order. It grows unheeded as long as you have these three things. Trust is most important.

Trust is not just the feeling of cheating but having believe that your spouse has your best interests at heart especially, when you fight and say things that you don’t mean. Understanding breeds companionship and love and equips you to handle each other’s behaviours even during difficult times. Things such as giving each other space, communication, taking time out for oneself or one’s friends, etc, all stem from understanding.

Respect can’t be a power game. So don’t demand respect, rather command. It should be extended to each other’s family, job, time, friends and feelings too. Another rule: there are no demands, only requests — be it on time, favors or sex. Also, there is no place for ego in a happy marriage. And it’s not as difficult to shed yours, if you have basic trust.

You must share responsibility say if both spouses are earning, they should contribute in proportion to their incomes. It’s not fair to expect the husband to take care of all expenses just because he earns more. Finances are often a point of contention, and it’s best if couples manage investments and money separately, while pooling in for joint expenses. Each spouse must be responsible of their expenses to balance the power equation. The more you think of yourself as a unit, the more you act like one.

Love alone can’t see you through a relationship. I know one couple who has been married for more than 3 years now and it was a love marriage, sometimes they scream and abuse each other which is ridiculous. Where has the love gone? Love must be nurtured with trust and understanding else it evaporates. Love also builds false expectations when it starts with romantic love. Couples in arranged marriages, on the other hand, learn to love each other with growing trust and understanding. Love also changes with age. It may start with romantic love, go to sexual love and graduate to caring and companionship at a later stage.

An important component, even when things go wrong. It’s important to bring back physical intimacy, if a couple has lost it. If you are in joint family then it is very conducive to a happy marriage. as an elder gives you perspective or point out how it affects your children. The is always a bonus. Also, never have children to save your marriage or stay together for them, just stay together because you want to. A child needs stability and you can give him or her that even by divorcing. Sometimes that’s healthier for the child rather than seeing parents fight bitterly.

A happy married life is as essential for fulfillment as food is for hunger. Give priority to your spouse over everything else in your life. …