You are what you think

Aira    Featured Post     enthusiastic, Family, feelings, friends, Happiness, learning, nature, optimistic, work

All of our feelings, beliefs and knowledge are based on our internal thoughts, both conscious and subconscious. We are in control, whether we know it or not. We must always aim high and do your best. We can be positive or negative, enthusiastic or dull, active or passive. Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. The biggest difference between people is their attitudes. For some, learning is enjoyable and exciting. For others, learning is a drudgery. For many, learning is just okay, something required on the road to a job.

Our present attitudes are habits, built from the feedback of parents, friends, society and self, that form our self-image and our world-image. These attitudes are maintained by the inner conversations we constantly have with ourselves, both consciously and subconsciously.

The first step in changing our attitudes is to change our inner conversations. One must make a positive commitment to oneself, to learning, work, family, friends, nature, and other worthwhile causes. Praise yourself and others. Dream of success. Be enthusiastic.

Just do your best and don’t look back. See learning and change as opportunities. Try new things. Consider several options. Meet new people. Ask lots of questions. Keep track of your mental and physical health. Be optimistic.

Remember, you are what you think, you feel what you want.

The real job of Moms

Aira    Featured Post     daughter, feelings, Happiness, Love, mother job, parenting, Parents, real job of mother, son, teenagers

It’s not cooking dinner, changing diapers or helping a preschooler glue colored macaroni on a coffee can as a Father’s Day gift.

The most important assignment a mom has is to nurture her children.

But what does that mean, exactly? Most of us have a vague notion about what being nurtured feels like, but here are a few specifics.

A nurturing mom goes beyond being the “maintenance person” in a child’s life. She doesn’t just keep a child clean, fed, warm, and dry. She also helps enable her children to develop fully by pouring life into them. She models joy and passion. Nurturing is filling your child up with aliveness.

A nurturing mom takes time to play, read, and take pictures when the toddler’s spaghetti ends up on the head instead of in the mouth. She enters the child’s world to see things from his or her perspective, even if it means the carpets don’t get vacuumed for a while. She provides empathetic understanding from a position of strength and support. That’s true whether she’s dealing with a toddler or a teen — except for the part about spaghetti on the head.

Like dads, though, moms have a natural urge to protect their children. That can lead them to cross the line between nurturing and futile attempts at control.

You can’t control the results, but you can stir in the right ingredients. You can seek to know your children as individuals, different as they might be, and bring out the best in each. You can demonstrate by example how to explore life with zest and express the unique gifts God provides each of us. Your nurturing can blossom in emotional and spiritual growth.

Before you feel burdened with a mile-long list you can never follow through on, let me be quick to say that nurturing is not about “doing it all” or doing it perfectly. It’s about doing the best you can — without losing yourself or driving yourself crazy because your own needs aren’t taken care of. You won’t be able to nurture your children if you’re exhausted from burning the candle at both ends.

So please take care of yourself, too. You need aliveness in order to pass it on to your teenagers.

The real job of Dads

Aira    Featured Post     Dad, daughter, Father, feelings, parenting, real job of Dad, son

Do you know what is the real job of Dads? A dad’s primary, underlying job isn’t control. It’s to validate every one of his children. It means to let your child know over and over and over, through words and actions, that this is true,  “Hey, you exist and you matter to me.”,  “You’re good enough.”, “You’re an okay kid.”

It’s the idea that children get their earliest, most lasting impressions of who they are from what’s reflected back to them by their parents. These impressions become those “records” in the jukebox of your child’s brain.

Validation doesn’t mean lying. It doesn’t mean telling me, “Great game, son!” when I really played poorly.  Just as validation has nothing to do with control, it has no relation to being a “softie” as a parent. You can be firm and strong and still validate your child. It means acknowledging your son or daughter, certifying his or her existence, affirming the person apart from the not-so-good performance.

Some fathers go to the opposite extreme, withholding validation when kids don’t “measure up.” Our culture is so conditional in its validation — affirming only those who’ve won fame or fortune, or been born (or surgically assisted) with “good” looks — that the same approach often creeps into our parenting. It’s easy for a man to validate a good performance; it takes a lot more time and energy to see and value the human being in the absence of any performance and put it into words.

A dad’s biggest job is to relinquish that kind of control and affirm that the existence of each of his children, with or without any great (or poor) performance, is acceptable. If you’re a father, recognize that each of your children is worthy of being alive. You may know that, but each of your children needs to hear it from you.

Value that child as a person, even when disciplining an action or attitude. Make sure your child knows he or she is good enough for you. Otherwise, when that tree falls in the forest, the silence will be deafening.  The best time to begin validating is the day you bring your baby home from the hospital. Parenting a teenager begins when he or she is born.

When he or she is born. Really.  But it’s never too late to start. Do it often enough to cut a record in your teen’s jukebox that says, “I’m okay. I’m good enough.” If you can do that, trying to compensate with control won’t be such a temptation.

Girl who doesn’t age

Aira    Featured Post     Brooke, Brooke doesn't age, development, feelings, genes, process of ageing

I recently read a very surprising news and I wanna share with you guys. It is about an American girl who doesn’t age and it may hold key to ageing. American scientists are keenly studying the DNA of a 17-year-old girl who still has the body and behaviour of a baby, hoping to gain new insights into the mysteries of ageing.

At 16lb in weight and just 30in tall, her name is Brooke Greenberg who is still the size of a one-year-old.

According to a preliminary study of her DNA, her failure to grow could be linked to defects in the genes that make the rest of humanity grow old.

According to the times, if confirmed, the research could give scientists a fresh understanding of ageing and even suggest new therapies for diseases linked to old age.

Richard Walker who is a professor at the University of South Florida School of Medicine, who is leading the research team said the following:

“We think that Brooke’s condition presents us with a unique opportunity to understand the process of ageing,”

“We think that she has a mutation in the genes that control her ageing and development so that she appears to have been frozen in time.

“If we can compare her genome to the normal version then we might be able to find those genes and see exactly what they do and how to control them.”

Mumbai attacks: Kasab should be hanged till death without any delay

Aira    Featured Post     Ajmal Amir Kasav, Kasab, Kasav, Mumbai attacks, Mumbai Blast 2008, Mumbai Bomb Blast, November 26 2008 Mumbai, Pakistani terrorists, Shootout & Blast In Mumbai, Story of Kasab

Hello Folks,

Remember Mumbai blast?? It was November 26, 2008 and the whole nation was disturbed and had sleepless nights…and lasted until 29 November, killing at least 173 people and wounding at least 308. While writing, the whole picture comes in my minds making things alive…

Yes,  it was Mohammed Ajmal Amir Kasab, who moved around the streets of South Mumbai and fired indiscriminately on Wednesday night (26 November, 2008), killing several people, he has no regrets!! He has hardly ever flinched during investigations. That’s because Kasab says the act will take him to “Jannat” as it was ordered by the almighty.  When he was under investigation he was asked whether he knew any verses from the Quran that described jihad, Ajmal Amir said he did not.  In fact he did not know much about Islam or its tenets. And you will be shocked he also said that if he was given regular meals and money he will do the same for anyone that he did for them (Pakistan).

Well, after several investigations, Ajmal Amir Kasab has been awarded death penalty on 6 May, 2010.  During the reading of the sentence, Kasab was downcast and did not look up. Why? Because he knows what he did and this is what his award for his so called job. Kasab deserves death penalty, he killed dozens of innocent people and if let alive for more days is still a threat and danger to humanity.  Kasab is a killing machine and a heartless monster who is a curse to the society. He not only enjoyed killing innocent people but also expressed anger while confessing before a Magistrate that he could not execute more, he had said in his arguments on the quantum of sentence for the convicted terrorist.

Even today, many parents and kids offering his prayers in Mumbai & are still in shocked and mentally disturbed. With the end of  Kasab, they may get some relief and justice for the lost. Death for Kasab will satisfy families of victims for sure.

Now, it’s the right time without any further delay, Monster Kasab should be hanged till death, time has come to raise our voice against terrorism and there should not be any delay in further process. Kasab was found guilty of murder, conspiracy, and of waging war against India. On May 6, he was sentenced to death by hanging.  Kasab should be hanged till death without any delay.  Our country’s security should be improved in such a way that these kind of brainless and shameless creatures should feel the fear of Indian Security Force!!

I am just waiting for the day when Kasab will be hanged. The day he will be hanged, I will be satisfied and all the victims will get justice.

Guys, What do you think about this Monster “Kasab”?

A crow attacked the squabs, one died

Aira    Featured Post     crow attack, flower pot, normal brd attack, pigeon, squab

As I wrote that few weeks ago, pigeons lay eggs in the flower pot of mine and both eggs hatched. However on inspection this morning one seems to be thriving, whereas the other one I can’t see. It was early morning and as usual, I went into my balcony to see the squabs in my flower pot hanging in the balcony and both of them were fine. After an hour, I saw a crow but as I was too busy I ignored and went to do my clutters.

In the afternoon, I went to see the squabs again and it was just one with her mother. Then I saw the flesh of the squabs scattered and painted with blood. I was shocked. I felt so hurt and bad and was depressed whole day.  Two weeks ago I saw flower pot with two squabs and now it is just one! A crow might have attacked the young pigeon i.e. squab  in the flower pot when the adult pigeon was not there. I remember, the crow has come in the morning and when she saw the small bird, she was instantly after it. Couldn’t resist. May be that crow has attacked the squabs and one of them fall down and the crow ate him and left over the blood and feathers all in the balcony floor.

When the squabs were hatched, we use to enjoy each day, their shouting and screaming all.  But today, it was the most saddest moment..I always thought that pigeons & crows were carrion feeders, and have never seen either bird attacking live prey before. Is such an attack normal?

Now I think it would be best to remove it from the balcony floor. It may draw ants or flies which could attack or harm the living squab. I wish the parents could remove a dead chick if they could, but usually it is too heavy for the adults to handle and they end up leaving it there..so it would better to clean up.  I will clean up the dead squab left over flesh today. The male pigeon returned to the nest immediately to protect the live squab (phew and yay!). I was happy to see that and wish at least the other one survive.

A squab in my flower pot!

Aira    Featured Post     balcony, feelings, flower pot, garden, pigeon, pigeon baby, squabs

Hey folks – I have been watching from last few months, there is certain activities in my flower pot which was hanging in my balcony. You know what, a pigeon’s egg!!

Yes, today, it’s amazing feeling when I saw few baby pigeon in the hanging pot. I mean ’squabs’…you couldn’t believe it, they were just shouting and shouting to tell you something about their Mommy and Daddy and how they care for them, may be. They must have some alarm clocks built inside..

The mommy pigeon cares for them during the night. She sits on the nest – hey – that’s a small flower pot in the balcony of our house, open and clean area, wonderful place – always dry, protected from the wind and the crows, clean and very quiet. I really couldn’t understand what to do next. Probably, thinking of leaving them alone and let them fly.

They are not one, it’s more than three squab and always protected by their parents. Very nice!

Well, I think their mommy cares for them during the night and keeps them warm till the next day until 11.30, I guess. When she hears Daddy’s flapping of his wings she leaves the nest and Daddy starts his duty until the early evening at around 6 pm. I think Daddy is a bit greedy for food so he always stops on the food plate first before he sits down to take over his duties. But nevertheless he very much cares for them and protects them.

Sometimes he thinks that we are going too close to his beloved ones and so he starts hissing, blowing himself up like a bodybuilder – he makes himself really big – impressive – and really looks angry and is ready to do everything to defend his little ones. I think he is a bit a choleric – Mommy never makes such a fuss – I think she knows better that no-one is doing their kids any harm here.

They are growing rapidly.  Their skin is darkening. I think very soon they will loose their pinky skin colour – but looked like a little piggy anyway – maybe it’s better now…

You know, Pigeons has excellent eyesight, they also can see ultraviolet light – part of the light spectrum that humans can’t see. Pigeons everywhere have been celebrating. Not only are the skies totally empty of planes, they’re blue as well.  You must be amazed to know that both the sexes produce crop milk to feed their young ones…

Isn’t it so interesting!!!

India face new challenges everyday

Aira    Featured Post     Culture, India, Indian sports, Knowledge, Mission of India, sports, Sports Organisation in India

In today’s highly competitive world of sport, India face new challenges everyday. To improve our sports standard, Indian Sports organization should change their strategy to adapt to their ever-changing sports world. Upon looking into the issues Indian sports faces, it is not uncommon for sports organizations to experience conflict in leadership and organizational structure due to mis-communication. When an organization restructures, it should utilize known practices of emotional intelligence, knowledge management and team development.

Once the problem and the course of change are identified, it is important for Indian Sports to communicate their progress with the sportsman. In order to prevent future conflict and mis-communication, Indian Sports need to implement team building strategies to recreate the sports culture and mission.

Our Indian sports should identify organizational issues that drive to develop and execute improvement plans. Team building, conflict management, power, knowledge management, external environment, and internal communication are the issues which most sports organizations face (including Indian Sports). These are only a few of the important concepts that leadership of any organization must pay attention to in order to stay successful.

Every sports organization faces the challenge of managing their growth. Do Indian Sports go out and try to raise money or do they try to build organically? I would suggest them to build organically first and then try for sponsorships.

Do you know the emotional benefits of walking?

Aira    Featured Post     benefits of walking, emotional stress, emotional walking, feelings, healthy life, thoughts, walking

Well,  do you know that there is a emotional benefit also of walking,  it gives you the time to contemplate life and the aspects of it that are causing you stress and worry.  I always make sure I walk daily to relax myself and stress out..
Now you might be thinking, what is this topic all about but believe me many people find that when they begin walking and the heart starts pumping more oxygen to the brain they feel brighter and more positive about their lives. Some even come up with long-awaited solutions while out walking!

You know, the endorphins give you a sense of achievement and satisfaction so that when you get back and carry on with your day it doesn’t seem half as stressful as it once did.  There are many benefits of walking, one of the big benefits of walking is that nearly everybody can do it whenever they feel like it. Even older individuals can manage a short walk to clear their heads and calm the nerves.

It’s also an inexpensive way to relax as all you need is a good pair of trainers or walking boots and a bit of spare time. You can start with your normal walking pace and walking style but as you progress try lengthening your stride and swinging yours in time with your steps.  And as you get fitter you can walk for longer or you can quicken your pace a bit.

Eventually you can progress to power-walking which is an aerobic exercise and very good for the heart and lungs.  Walking is good for your brain. Make sure you concentrate on your thoughts and feelings as well as your walking style so that both your physical and emotional stress levels will become reduced.
Happy walking!!

Just love is not enough

Aira    Featured Post     happy couples, happy married life, Life, Love, love in marriage, married couples, responsibility in marriage, Romatic married life, secrets of happy married life, wisdom and maturity

I have been married for many years now and many of couples approached me asking for what is the real essence and secret of happy married life. And I would only say – not just one thing to work properly in marriage but there are something very essential and necessary ingredients to have a happy married life.

What if you think true love is all it takes to make a marriage successful? No matter what you say, how hard you love or how long you have tried. Sometimes is it just not enough. No, just love is not enough!

Today, I just wanna reveal that for you all whoever wants to know the secret to be happy and happy in married life. Far from it, the main things in a happy marriage is trust, understanding and respect come first. Love ranks way down the pecking order. It grows unheeded as long as you have these three things. Trust is most important.

Trust is not just the feeling of cheating but having believe that your spouse has your best interests at heart especially, when you fight and say things that you don’t mean. Understanding breeds companionship and love and equips you to handle each other’s behaviours even during difficult times. Things such as giving each other space, communication, taking time out for oneself or one’s friends, etc, all stem from understanding.

Respect can’t be a power game. So don’t demand respect, rather command. It should be extended to each other’s family, job, time, friends and feelings too. Another rule: there are no demands, only requests — be it on time, favors or sex. Also, there is no place for ego in a happy marriage. And it’s not as difficult to shed yours, if you have basic trust.

You must share responsibility say if both spouses are earning, they should contribute in proportion to their incomes. It’s not fair to expect the husband to take care of all expenses just because he earns more. Finances are often a point of contention, and it’s best if couples manage investments and money separately, while pooling in for joint expenses. Each spouse must be responsible of their expenses to balance the power equation. The more you think of yourself as a unit, the more you act like one.

Love alone can’t see you through a relationship. I know one couple who has been married for more than 3 years now and it was a love marriage, sometimes they scream and abuse each other which is ridiculous. Where has the love gone? Love must be nurtured with trust and understanding else it evaporates. Love also builds false expectations when it starts with romantic love. Couples in arranged marriages, on the other hand, learn to love each other with growing trust and understanding. Love also changes with age. It may start with romantic love, go to sexual love and graduate to caring and companionship at a later stage.

An important component, even when things go wrong. It’s important to bring back physical intimacy, if a couple has lost it. If you are in joint family then it is very conducive to a happy marriage. as an elder gives you perspective or point out how it affects your children. The is always a bonus. Also, never have children to save your marriage or stay together for them, just stay together because you want to. A child needs stability and you can give him or her that even by divorcing. Sometimes that’s healthier for the child rather than seeing parents fight bitterly.

A happy married life is as essential for fulfillment as food is for hunger. Give priority to your spouse over everything else in your life. …